Gloria, Proton Beam Therapy, Coding and Data Analysis, and Writing Dissertation Chapters

 The healing-dissertation journey continues . . . 

At the end of July 2021, I began the 33 proton beam sessions (5 days a week), which ended on September 10, 2021. I had the best care. The doctors, nurses, technicians, and staff treated me with the utmost care and kindness. I was able to personalize the mask, which was tightly attached to the treatment table to keep my head perfectly still while I received radiation. I named her, the mask, Gloria, in honor of Gloria Anzaldúa, who inspires my dissertation work and me. One of the technicians painted it; I gave him a couple of drawings of Anzaldúa and a Dia de Los Muertos skeleton drawing. I explained what I wanted, and he told me, "Remember, I'm a technician first and then an artist." I responded, "Let Gloria inspire you!" The mask is a beautiful piece of art that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Here is a photo of the mask (I'm wearing it during my treatment).

MD's Gloria Mask

When the proton beam was being administered, I prayed, asking God to send his healing light to bless the cancer genes that had veered from being healthy genes, to set them "straight" so they would be healthy genes and not genes bent on destroying me. One of the prayers was the "Our Father," when I would get to the part of the prayer, "Give us this day our daily bread . . ." I instead would pray, "Give us this day our daily beam." When I prayed in this way, my heart was glad, and a smile formed on my face. 

The techs would ask me what kind of music I would like to hear during treatment; I chose artists like Sly and the Family Stone, Stevie Wonder, Earth, Wind, and Fire, Prince, Donna Summer, and Chaka Khan. At times it was hard to stay still; I would tap my toes instead. On the last day of the radiation, I gave the technicians, the Best Beam Team, a jumpdrive, a "mixtape" of some of my favorite songs. I looked forward to the treatments; the techs made such a challenging experience fun and lighthearted. At the beginning of the cancer journey, I never thought "fun" would be part of my experience. But the folks at Mayo Clinic always greeted me with a smile on their faces (even though they wore masks, I felt their smiles). I "loved" the warmed blankets that were gently placed on my body during treatment. 

I met with Dr. Ashman, the radiation oncologist, and nurse Camille every week during treatment. I also met with a social worker, who helped me with the emotional and practical aspects of living with cancer and the aftereffects of radiation. In addition, she gave me tools that helped me on the journey. When I completed treatment, I entered the recovery period, which can last from six-to-twelve months. In December, I got my first set of scans, an MRI and a PET scan (nearly three months after my treatment ended). After that, I would get scans every three months for a year. 

The first scans had contradictory results. The MRI taken at Banner University (insurance denied coverage at Mayo) indicated a concern that the tumor was still growing. Yet, the PET scan taken at Mayo (insurance approved coverage at Mayo) indicated that the tumor was not growing, and I had no indication of cancer "hot spots" on my body. Dr. Ashman was perplexed but agreed with the PET scan and didn't think the cancer was still growing. We believe that a sinus infection I had when I took the MRI complicated matters, and by the time I took the PET scan, I had taken antibiotics that healed the infection. The lymph nodes on the side of my neck were enlarged, but Dr. Ashman said that my body was fighting the infection, which would cause enlarged lymph nodes. He was very optimistic. 

I was very concerned and found fear started to get the best of me. Dr. Ashman didn't recommend any further treatment because it was too soon (just under three months) since I finished treatment. He suggested that I get scanned again in three months and go from there. I left that appointment with mixed feelings, concerned about the contradictory results. I sent out a prayer request to my prayer warriors and immediately felt some peace and even joy by the next day. So thankful for the good energy they sent me. When I saw my medical oncologist, Dr. Paul, a couple of weeks later, he seemed to agree with Dr. Ashman's opinion that the tumor was not growing. He even ordered the port that I named Lucy to be removed. He said, "Bye, Lucy!" :) I said, thank you, Lucy. I will wait until after the subsequent scans in March to remove Lucy. I'll say goodbye to her on March 18, 2022. 

Part of my Mayo Beam Team

Graduation from Radiation 

MD with Gloria Mask

I worked to maintain the joy I was experiencing after requesting prayers. The holidays were enjoyable, and I spent time with my family (safely). It was great to see my children, their partners, and my eight grandchildren. Facing cancer encouraged me to enjoy every moment. My heart overflowed with gladness. One of my sons said, "Mom, I'm grateful for your presence." I am too. 

Dissertation Update

Great news, I am planning to defend my dissertation on Friday, April 8, 2022, at 2-4 pm. It'll be a hybrid session, in person and on Zoom. I'll present my topic and findings, and my committee will let me know if I "pass" that same day! I'm so grateful that I am completing my Ph.D. program this spring despite dealing with a serious health concern. I'm planning to graduate in May 2022. Yay!!

GRADUATION UPDATE: I will be graduating in the Summer of 2022. I'll keep you posted.

I was able to complete coding the interviews, the pláticas, and also complete the data analysis in early fall 2021. I have been writing nearly every day for at least an hour (M-F) with someone (or several of us) from our writing support group. Three of us will be defending in April and Graduating in May. Hallelujah! One person is a writer from Long Beach, three people are post-docs who are also writing. I get fantastic support from them. 

I also met my first deadline to complete the first draft of my dissertation by December 1. Then, in mid-January, I met with my committee and determined the due dates for my dissertation. I'll have a complete draft to the committee for their preliminary review by February 15 and a final draft by March 15. I have completed three of the six chapters and am currently working on the fourth chapter, dealing with the finding of my study. I'm hoping to finish it by Friday, February 4. Then I'll work on editing chapters 2-4 and drafting my intro and conclusion. I'm enjoying the writing process. And I look forward to my defense. 

Thank you for your support and prayers. 

Mary Dolores